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Have you noticed that I have not a blog titel saying "day 18"? Because yesterday was my first day that I have not made it to a Conference Call, the first day I have not updated my blog or sent in a report, and I feel so ashamed of it.
No matter how hard I tried to stay up last night I just could not do it. Three nights in a row without any sleep was just too much, I was exhausted. My husband said he had heard my alarm clock and tried to wake me but I just would not get up. To be honest I am so mad at myself because I have told myself before the beginning of boot camp that I WILL NEVER miss a single day and I did :(
When my husband went off to bed I stayed on the couch, placing my phone and alarm clock next to me. I had set it to 1.50 am but never heard it go off.
I apologize for not doing anything yesterday. I was at our Police Stations Christmas Party and had to sit there until the official part was over which again was too late for the 8 am morning call.
I am aware that I have a lot of catching up to do this weekend and hope I won't let anyone down again. I know the requirements and understand if I would not be allowed to participate anymore but this week was tough with work, all the Christmas Parties coming up and the late night conference calls I just had no more energy :(
Be back for an update...
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sprüc...
1 year ago
Hi Julia,
ReplyDeleteRelease the shame because I am SO proud of you. While everyone has challenges, no one is trying to juggle Boot Camp living in Germany! You definitely needed to sleep. We're really not trying to kill anyone. :) Toss off the guilt, be assured you will still remain a participant, and make up for it this weekend. Hey, that's what weekends are for when you're a police officer in Germany! :)
I believe in you!
Ginny
I agree with Ginny. Even when we have our best laid plans and intentions, there are times when it just doesn't quite work out like we wanted. Being accountable is a great thing, but not to give you an excuse to feel badly towards yourself. If we beat ourselves up, we take away our effectiveness and lose our power.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you a are a Boot Camp participant. I know you have added challenges being located where you are. You also have other obligations--a job and you're a Mom. I'm so impressed with how you've managed to be on all the calls throughout the camp, getting up at O-Dark-Thirty, borrowing your neighbor's phone, standing in drafty hallways. You are committed. You are a Champion, Julia. And, guess what? Champions fail a lot in their chosen endeavors. The beauty is that they keep getting up, dusting themselves off, and keep aiming for their dreams. You Will do this too!
Try not to be so hard on yourself. You are doing great... and everyone needs to sleep :-) Aletha
ReplyDeleteJulia,
ReplyDeleteQuick being so hard on yourself. No one knows better than I the challenges you have working in another country and in particular, Germany. Remember that being in Canada I also have similar challenges, but I am certain it will all work out for both of us.
I think your body was just telling you that you needed some rest.
Eleanor
Are you KIDDING? You Rock! We don't need you to get delirious from lack of sleep,being you have a gun and all. Stick em up and get your mall now! LOL You my dear, are being too hard on yourself! You are working this under some unusual hours and circumstances. You should be proud of yourself. this week was not good for me either. VERY BAD COLD! My husband made me stop and get rest, not to mention my body told so too! Your son needs you too! You are planting your seeds, but we do need you around to watch your son grow too!
ReplyDeleteTina from new york